Having a girlie side was one of the things that made Charmed such an appealing show. These women loved fashion, girl talk, possessed domestic grace, and still whooped ass at their competitive day jobs while vanquishing demons and saving lives on the side. In contrast, I caught the first few episodes of the Witchblade TV show from 2000, where a NYC cop comes to possess a mysterious mystical power and proceeds to stomp various bad guys with it. The lead, Sara Pezzini, is very much a typical UF heroine, and not in a good way. On top of the fact that there's not a single other significant female character (at least in the beginning), Sara has no female friends or any interests that are remotely feminine. I‘m not saying women like that don‘t exist, I just don‘t want to read about them every single time I pick up my favorite genre.
Bottom line, it's okay to be girlie and strong. Most women are, and having a balance of varied characteristics is what makes a person substantive and interesting. I can enjoy a hero who kicks ass and takes names, but I'm more likely to relate to and care about one who also likes knitting, yoga, scented candles, and finding the perfect nail polish color.
I realize that in these modern times there’s a lot of overlap between the genders, and I’m certainly not trying stereotype anyone or say that women can‘t or shouldn‘t do the same things as men and vice versa. I’d just like to see more girlie girls in urban fantasy, and fewer characters who essentially behave more like a man who happens to have a vagina.
I'd love to hear what you guys think about it, and many thanks to Sarah for starting such a wonderful discussion.